We often seek solutions or fixes to complex questions. There is a way to pause. A way to absorb what is going on before problem solving.
Some would describe spiritual direction as a movement toward soul wholeness.
A spiritual director is there to help us tune into ourselves. They are not there to tell us what is going on or what to do, but rather to enhance self awareness. To help us open to ourselves, our inner light.
I sat down and talked with Carol Giantonio, who has been a spiritual director for 20 years.
Spiritual directors can be found in most faith traditions. Carol, who is Quaker, has worked with people of different religions or no religion at all. In fact, diversity of backgrounds or beliefs can provide much growth.
Who uses spiritual directors? Anyone can. Why? Sometimes it’s about a specific situation, other times more general. Carol said many people seek it for the respite, a reason to get off the treadmill of life once a month for an hour. It might be during a time of change. Or a time to evaluate what it’s all about? Even things like the meaning of life.
The spiritual director isn’t going to tell you what’s what. What they will do is: “listen beyond words,” as Carol said. “We help people listen to their own voice.” She explained that the practice is contemplative rather than analytical.
If someone is God oriented, a question might be, “where is God in this?” If they are not, that question changes to “where is the current in your life?” Or, “can you feel your life current?” The seeker has an inner teacher and the spiritual director is there to facilitate that connection.
Again, it isn’t about fixing anything. “I never try to cheer people up,” Carol says matter-of-factly. “They have to go through it.” In fact, she thinks that the less you do as a spiritual director, the better. If there is open listening, from a place of humility while witnessing another’s life experience, the undercurrent is picked up and “words will come out of your mouth that you didn’t know you had.”
To prepare, a spiritual director puts inner clutter aside, strives to be clear, transparent, and open. Some pray, “help me get out of the way (so that another can become closer to spirit).”
The time spent sitting with another, in silence and in conversation can be like poetry, according to Carol. It takes us out of mind/intellectual focus.
To learn more or find a guide, check out Spiritual Directors international, www.sdiworld.org.
Thank you to Carol, a certified spiritual director.
This is from her bio: “As spiritual director, I will provide a place in which you may explore the movement of the sprit in your life. I will listen, give you feedback, make suggestions— always pointing you toward the true director, the Source, the still, small voice within you, your own inner teacher. I will respect your religious beliefs; I will follow your preferences for the focus of our sessions together; and above all, I will honor the uniqueness of your spiritual journey.”
