Winter solstice 2019
I got out of bed and out the door by 6:30, in darkness. I walked by woods but not in them as I couldn’t see through the brush, trees, and pouring rain.
I heard the water rushing by in Amazon creek. It’s the most active thing, besides the rain. My steps quickened to keep pace with the water coming down and flowing by.
On the walk, I thought about what is now and who is here. Who is alive? What relationships are alive? Will this change by summer solstice?
I walked by the pool. It is mostly empty, no water. No light. No swimmers, no movement or fountains. No sounds. It’s a vast empty container.
I observed the street lights bouncing off wet concrete as I walked to the store. I think I passed by one other person who had an umbrella. There were almost no cars on the road.
I walked home while my bag rapidly melted and deteriorated in my arms from the rain. It burst all the way open on my front step.
At Albertson’s, I bought fudge ingredients. I mailed 9 Christmas cards. I bought a New York Times for $3.00. Front page said Christians continue to stand with Trump. Another story was about Brazilian militias killing citizens in order to fight crime. “Violence promotes order,” they said. I wanted to go out and walk in the rain again.
The light finally arrived, not as sun but as a lighter shade of gray. I went out to see if the rain stopped. It was still raining. My yard has nearly filled with water. Everything is saturated with winter.
The winter solstice can make me thoughtful. How do I carry the light? What do I find in darkness? How do I stay lit up, even if it’s just a pilot light?
I simmered fresh cut lavender on my stove. The house eventually smells soft and sweet as a companion to the sound of rain.
Going walking into this was the best idea of the day so far.
Today I send winter darkness and moisture to cool and calm future summer. Next June, I’ll send summer warmth and brightness to support me in winter.