This won’t be a linear story. When it was over, I walked away and saw a rainbow between two clouds.
I went to the Oregon Pain Summit 2020 this past weekend in Lebanon, which is surrounded by pastures of sheep. A bunch of healthcare professionals got together and talked about how to take care of people. This went beyond the regular how to take care of the parts of people. It was more the whole thing. The chaos narrative. A new term for me!
What is the space between the storyteller (patient) and the listener (practitioner)? We tried to step into that field, that undefined area. To go there, you have to experience it with each other. The weekend provided opportunity for people to reveal themselves in order to have revelations.
Swil Kanim asked, “when is a sacred moment happening?” I’ve never heard anyone ask that in this setting, and it made me want to jump out of my seat. The room was silent in attention. We were having a sacred moment.
“Did you pump more oxygen in the room?”
No.
“I haven’t been able to breathe like this for a long time; I usually can’t get enough air.”
This patient was the first dramatic shift since my narrative medicine workshop. She came in for her ankle, and we started with her spirit, and she improved.
Many people apologize for themselves, ask for forgiveness for talking, having feelings, for burdening another. Even at a healthcare appointment. They don’t need to apologize for telling their story. This is roughly what happened with the woman who found more air. She unloaded for 5-10 minutes, she was heard, she settled, she breathed. She and her story were not shamed or ignored.
Should we really open this can of worms, people asked? Yes. The worms need some air.
Swil Kanim talked about being present to our honor, and being present to others’ honor.
The takeaway from most of the discussions? Be a safe person and a safe place. We need this right now; we’ve always needed this. Treat people like you’ll see them again. Some native tribes have an expression upon meeting, like hello, but instead it’s, “greetings my relations.” Let’s extend with warmth when possible. Assume we will meet again.
How do we bring this out of ourselves and toward our relations? It seems to me it’s really about getting into a very calm, generous, and present head space. How do we do this? Self care. That was the other takeaway. What’s self care for you? Self care makes it feels like more oxygen is in the room.
How does it affect your impact on others? I came back from this experience wanting to be sure others know they are important, they are valued, they matter, their work makes a difference. Because I felt that way, I was able to spread it.
If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t have the patience, resilience, or generosity with others. Instead of looking for ways out, look for ways in. When I go inward, listen, and feel, I know what I need and I figure out how to align with it so I can honor myself and those I come into contact with.
This leads to more sacred moments.
I pray for the desperate earth.
I pray for the desperate world.
I do the little each person can
do, it isn’t much.
-Mary Oliver
“What is the space between the storyteller (patient) and the listener (practitioner)? ” I grew up listening to my father and his artist friends talk about this very thing, with such honor, respect, passion and longing…what is that holy space, and how to engage the Other until there is no other at all: just one. A lovely written piece about a magical gathering that you were called to join…thanks for writing this down and sharing with the rest of us, out wandering in our fields and forests. The holy space calls to all of us. And you are certainly correct: external ideas or behaviors will never get us to union, or a holy place: must start with loving god within, and then, turn it out-